This marks your first year in Heaven. At 8:22 am on June 22, 2013, you stepped into eternity with your Heavenly Father and your brother Jesus.
Helping me gain my footing
I have this vision of you in my mind. As you were stepping into Glory, you had on the fluffiest pair of white socks. You took a running start as fast as you could and you hopped onto the Streets of Gold. As you began your slide in perfect surfer form with your new glorified perfectly healed and whole body, your face was lit up with a mixture of ultimate peace and happiness. No tears, no more pain, just pure joy!
During your long slide, the streets were lined with cheering and clapping family and friends as they welcomed you. God was so excited to see you too and stood up rejoicing over you.
Back down here, I kind of miss you a whole bunch. And that is an understatement. I miss your giant leprechaun smile and ornery glint in your eyes. I miss talking to you and waiting for your answers. So many people were impatient with you after that third stroke. If only they had known you before that one... you still were slow to speak... not due to the stroke, but because you always
Teaching me to bait a hook
chose your words carefully to make sure they were correct and edifying. I strive to be more like you in that.
Rachel, Caleb & Aimee with Grandpa
You were one of the most even-tempered people that I ever knew, and so wise too. Thank you for all of the advice over the years; from how to put a worm on a hook and not toss my cookies, to helping me when I was promoted at work. I will try to impart this wisdom to my kids as the
occasions arise as well. They are your legacy. They are and will continue to make you proud.
I don't know what kind of clout you have up there, but please ask Jesus to send some extra blessings to some folks back here who are not processing your passing into Glory very well. The rest of us are doing as good as can be expected. We have ups, we have downs. We have tears, we have smiles. We always hold tight to all of the memories.
Miss you Daddy... Love you more... I understand the choice you made.
Signed.... Your lil Princess, Christine
Until Later Daddy :o)
Friday, May 9, 2014
Spirit of Entitlement Part 1
Hello Gang! I wrote these several years ago, thought I would share with you.
I am going to be posting a series of 8 - 10 Notes on what I deem to be one of the most prolific challenges today - The Spirit of Entitlement. I see this mostly among the 15 - 35 age group, but it does seem to creep up in about every age grouping to some extent.
Fasten your belts.... lock up your "I'm offended" button in a drawer somewhere..... and let's get rolling.......
Spirit of Entitlement Part 1
B.K. Eakman exposed [Washington Times (26 April 1999), “Children of the Therapeutic Society” ] how social scientists, at first, wrongly suggested that direct involvement of parents with their children was synonymous with over-protectiveness. Eventually, hands-on parenting was likened to “child abuse.” In time, to tolerate a teen tantrum (or that of a two-year-old) became viewed as “being flexible.”
Parents of Generation “E” (for entitled) are very, very “flexible.” It is of paramount importance to them that their kids like them, no matter the cost. What once was called “talking back” is now “having a voice.” Even tag artists who deface public and private property are deemed “creative” for their “thinking outside of the box.”
All too often our youth are nurtured on what Gene Edward Veith calls “mind-candy of pop culture.” Void of deep-seated convictions to stir passion, they are prone to be cynical, nihilistic, and sometimes criminal.
Today’s growing selfishness is likened to “knowing what you want and setting out to get it.” The “hormonal teen culture” justifies being insular, and lust for materialism smacks of what is perceived as healthy ambition. In a word, privilege today is more an expectation than a rarity. Entitlement to Privilege
As the story goes, a wealthy farmer sent his sons to the fields, where they worked long hours in the heat of the sun. Neighbors were appalled. After all, they reasoned, he had more than enough money to hire out such work. In disgust, one neighbor stormed the father’s estate, accusing him of unthinkable stinginess.
“Sir,” the good farmer responded, “I’m not raising wheat; I’m raising sons.” More than saving a penny, that father wanted his sons to learn well the simple lessons of life—lessons he credited for his own success as a farmer, businessman, and most importantly as a father.
No doubt those lessons mirrored life rules expounded by author Charles Sykes—the first of which follows: Life is not fair; get used to it. On occasion, but not always, the ball of blessing lands undeservedly in your court. Because of the likelihood that unmerited fortune will, from time to time, advantage you, let that suffice.
Kids do well to keep in mind that the world won’t care about self-actualization or self-esteem, but instead will expect accomplishment as prerequisite to commendation or financial reward. No amount of ego will land you a vice presidency right out of high school. You must first earn that title; and, in the process, you’ll need to “find yourself” on your own time.
Incredulous as it sounds, before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your messes, and listening to your revelries in self-aggrandizement. If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss who has no apparent interest in polishing your ego or feathering your nest.
Progressive schools may have done away with “winners” and “losers,” but their self-esteem enhancing paradigm doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to real life. Believe it. When you flub up, it’s not the fault of parents, teachers, or colleagues.
Life isn’t divided into semesters, with breaks following; and, by the way, television does not mirror real life. Some youth may be reluctant to accept that flipping burgers is not beneath their dignity; in fact, it’s called “opportunity.” Finally, be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one!
Spirit of Entitlement Part 2
Teachers Owe Me
A recently published Seattle Times article lauds a local child-centered school characterized by “freedom” and “democracy” (1 April 2007). Just as children ambulate and speak with seeming spontaneity (no “formal” instruction needed), it stands to reason that they will learn to read, write, and compute similarly unencumbered by pesky teachers, assignments, tests, grades.
“Free” students study only what they want to; these “find their bliss” by playing cards and shoot-‘em-up cyberspace games. Should they have questions, students are owed answers by attending adults. Unless asked, however, “facilitators” remain seen, but not heard. For this, parents dish out yearly tuitions nearing $6,000.
But, then, “new” basics of consensus building and interdependence are not new at all. Founded in 1921 by A. S. Neill, Summerhill was presumed to be a haven for children to discover who they are and where their interests lie. Anticipated outcomes were “nurtured” in a self-governing, democratic community much akin to the 1960 model classrooms at differing universities.
Insofar as rules were concerned, pupils and staff alike had equal vote; and, yes, lessons were optional. For young and inexperienced teachers, it didn’t take long to realize that this was no way to run a school—unless, that is, you don’t mind ducking water balloons or dodging skate boarders hording the hallways.
Certainly, I’m not calling for “the good old days” of the late 1800s when teachers were required to fill lamps, clean chimneys, tote daily supplies of water and coal, and whittle pens for their students—in addition, of course, to dispensing knowledge and honing basic skills. Even so, for most, education imparted in one-room schoolhouses was highly esteemed; and educators commanded due respect. Despite grueling requirements, teachers enjoyed the supreme satisfaction of equipping their students with academic skills and a firm sense of personal accountability and character.
No more. What B.K. Eakman terms “psychological calisthenics”—this, in lieu of yesteryear’s far more challenging textbooks, rigorous assignments, and stricter teachers—paves the way for students to become inebriated with an exaggerated pre-occupation with self.
Despite the fact that American high-school students are falling behind even the Third World when it comes to math and science, our kids still rank near the top when tested on matters of self-esteem.
Something is terribly wrong with this picture.
Spirit Of Entitlement Part 3
Life Owes Me
More than ever before, feeling good about oneself trumps all. In psychology, narcissism is an exaggeration of normal self-respect and involvement, yet networks and magazine ads scream the message that kids are entitled. Life owes them, don’t you know?
The best car, the latest technology, the designer label, the spring vacation, endless junk food—all are expected, even demanded. After all, advertisements proclaim that I’m “worth it.” “I deserve a break today”; it’s “my thing” to “do what I wanna’ do.” The so-called “Imperial Self” is “born to rule.” While theirs is “the spirit—with attitude,” kids today “regret nothing.”
Thus armed with commercial jingles and slogans, Generation “E” (for “entitled”) strive to turn the tide of favor their way by opportunistically flashing the “victimology” card. Unfortunately, in the real world, parents and teachers do youngsters no favor by appeasing the oft-cited whine, “That’s not fair!” My reply has always been, “Get Over It!”
Horace Mann believed in the perfectible nature of man and, in 1850, sold many Americans on the misguided idea that in one hundred years secular education would solve crime and poverty. To the contrary, a “mental hygiene” approach to education, coupled with permissive parenting, has erupted instead in grotesque violence (can you say “Littleton or Virginia Tech”?).
Cheri Pierson Yecke characterized the rising tide of mediocrity in America’s schools as a veritable “war against excellence.” And a war it is. Is it any wonder that the longer students attend American schools, the farther they fall behind age-mates in most industrialized nations of the world (Dr. James Dobson, Focus on the Family)?
That the focus on academics shifted dramatically in the 1960s to emotional health issues begs the question, “How is this working for you?” Apparently it’s not working well. Whistle blower Charlotte Thomson Iserbyt uncovered the mother lode, armed herself with it, and then fled the US Department of Education for which she had served as senior official.
A recent “Cosmo Girl” survey reveals that nearly one in three would pocket a $5 bill if she saw a stranger drop it on the floor. Indeed, former secretary of education William Bennett rightly reasons that “value-neutral,” standard-light schools more often than not fashion morally indifferent students. Society, he concludes, is no better for it.
Spirit of Entitlement Part 4
God Owes Me
Not long ago, I overheard a middle-aged woman reminiscing about her lifelong journey as a Christian. Never having had a husband, or children, this seemingly unfulfilled woman blurted out, “God owes me BIG TIME.”
I’ve got to admit, this unexpected outburst took me aback. Yes, my friend had devoted her life to Christian service; but, then, a “living sacrifice” is what the Bible describes as “reasonable service.” Somehow this good woman felt “owed.”
That conversation reminded me of an earlier experience when my girlfriend employed a worker to undertake a construction project in the backyard. In the business sector, effort minus output seldom reaps reward, certainly not monetarily; however, despite this job’s remaining incomplete, her workman demanded five times the amount of his previously agreed-upon bid. His rationale, as I heard it, was that God’s intent was to bless him at her expense. No matter the mess left behind, he nonetheless felt “owed.”
These scenarios underscore the principle that life isn’t fair; but then it is the Lord’s prerogative whether to bless or not, depending if we are abiding by the promises that He has given to us. Wisdom dictates that there is no inherent virtue in material gain or loss. Neither ensures salvation, sanctification or discipleship; either can ambush and ensnare; both, when embraced, contribute to character maturation and “abundant living” in Christ.
To feel “owed” is a far cry from acknowledging and, then, appropriating more than thirty thousand biblical promises ripe for the picking. We who died to sin and self upon accepting Christ as Lord dare not indulge a covetous spirit of entitlement. God is in debt to no one, but we are forever in debt to Him. In fact, the Bible calls us His willing “love-slaves.”
As was the case with the apostle Paul, most Christians experience abounding and abasing, being full and being hungry; but God’s love and valuation of them never vacillates. No matter the quality of life enjoyed or tolerated, as the case may be, believers can trust that God remains their faithful provider.
Spirit of Entitlement - Part 5
Parents Owe Me
Recently at school, I witnessed an attitude-propelled, manifestly disgruntled teenaged girl insisting that she was owed a replacement phone. Yes, she broke the one she had (when she threw it in anger); but after all, that phone was “cheap” and bound to break sooner or later.
No matter the sweet reasonableness with which she was implored, this young woman relentlessly insisted that she shouldn’t have to wait, or be asked to contribute to, purchase of what she obviously has coming. Bottom line: parents owe her—and now.
Banking on the power of persistence, this young woman demonstrated intuitive knowledge that, given time, concentrated hammering on her parent was certain to get her what she wanted—if only to curtail the annoyance of an extended tirade.
Most likely, she was right. For any number of reasons, today’s enlightened parent willingly takes to heart such scathing rebuke. Eager to sidestep escalating tensions, the exhausted adult rationalizes her teen’s demand: Going without would surely wreck havoc with my child’s self-esteem, wouldn’t it? Friends have what they want. Shouldn’t my child as well? Perhaps I really do owe her.
With that, the child is appeased, conflict ceases, and the relieved “problem-solver” applies the “smile gauge.” Because the placated child appears happy, that parent basks in false comfort that her work here is done.
While throwing money at a problem often paves the path to least resistance, it seldom cures what’s ailing. Take our public schools, for example. They have been, and remain, the best funded on earth, yet when competing with other industrialized nations, American students consistently score poorly in math and dead last in physics.
With this in view, former secretary of education and drug czar William Bennett poses the fitting question: What do we gain if our youngsters “smile their way into abysmal ignorance and educational oblivion”?
Insubordination won’t cut the mustard in today’s emerging global economy, nor does it serve to nurture healthy relationships of any sort. If Generation “E” consistently skirt self-gratification, whether delayed or denied, they are the real losers.
Spirit of Entitlement - Part 6
“Citizens” Owe “Aliens”
Ok... now... remember to put that "I am Offended" button back into that drawer and lock it up! These are opinions of myself and of those whom are noted.... No hate mail accepted!
Left-wing mission groups like No More Deaths and Border Action Network persist in giving aid to illegal migrants braving the Sonora (World, 15 April 2006). Apparently, well-intentioned Americans, as these, view the US of A as a sort of “boarding house for the world’s poor” (Phyllis Schlafly, July 2006). To them, proponents of legal and measured immigration are “nativists” and “racists.”
The very term “illegal alien” stirs the ire of today’s politically correct crowd. Lawbreaking immigrants are categorized instead as “undocumented workers”; nevertheless, whatever the nomenclature, the key word is illegal. It stands to reason that enabling lawlessness invites even more of it.
Indeed, increasing numbers of America’s “undocumented workers” feel entitled to jobs and all the rights and privileges (minus responsibility) of American citizenship. According to Frosty Wooldridge, Arizona taxpayers foot over $1 billion annually in services for its half-million illegal aliens. Similarly, the average California household contributes at least $1,200 annually to subsidize the deficit between what illegal immigrants cost in services and what they pay in taxes (Victor Davis Hanson, Professor of Classics, California State University, Fresno).
Phyllis Schlafly of Eagle Forum further contends that amnesty for tens of millions is but “a drop in the bucket” when compared to “temporary guest workers,” for whom American citizens are expected to pay staggering entitlements as Medicaid, Social Security (with credit for FICA taxes paid under false numbers), Supplemental Security Income, Earned Income Tax Credit, the WIC program, food stamps, public and subsidized housing, Temporary Assistance to Needy Families, and federally funded legal representation. Add to these costs of public schooling (replete with lunches)!
Steve Forbes rightly suggests that while we are the land of the free, we are not the land of free loaders. Nonetheless, statistics reveal that, after twenty years, even legal Mexican immigrants have double the welfare rates of naturalized citizens.
Over the last three decades, bilingual education, expanded welfare, the hyphenated identity and radical historical revisionism of SW American history, propelled by racist reconquista rhetoric, have proved to be detrimental to assimilation and economic improvement.
When the rate of immigration exceeds that of assimilation, riots and chaos are inevitable. Some surmise that under the titanic weight of diversity, multilingualism and entitlement for lawbreakers, America already has begun its downward plunge.
Spirit of Entitlement - Part 7
Society Owes Me
Politically correct black activist Randall Robinson wrote The Debt: What Americans Owe to Blacks. In it, he blames white folks for black poverty. To level the score, Robinson calls for taxpayers to underwrite black reparations to the tune of trillions of dollars. This applies even though not a single African-American alive today was ever a slave, nor was a single living white American a slave owner.
While the global community applauds reparations for bygone ills of American slavery, it takes little or no action to condemn ongoing atrocities by the Sudanese government, for one. Go figure.
Consider this as well: If you lost a family member in the 9-11 attack, you are entitled to reparation averaging almost $1.2 million (for some, millions more). This, however, does not apply if you are a surviving family member of an American soldier killed while defending America from further attack.
As a surviving spouse, the first check you get is a $6,000 direct death benefit (half of which is taxable). Next, you get burial costs ($1,750) and $833 monthly—that is, until you remarry—and each of your children is awarded a mere $211 monthly. Once each child turns eighteen, he is cut off completely.
Because it is not right to do wrongly that somehow good may come, blanket entitlement cannot possibly be a viable solution for bygone offenses. But, then, if one believes society owes him, this is not an easy pill to swallow.
Being “Italian-Irish-American,” I am aghast at the hardship endured by Italian and Irish immigrants who once flooded our country. In support of their families, and to make ends meet, my rugged predecessors were forced to work under intolerable conditions and, then, for meager recompense. What about balancing the score on their behalf?
So, then, if society truly owes African-Americans and Italian-Irish-Americans, it surely owes Japanese-Americans, all victims of terrorism and natural disasters, unwilling hostages, war prisoners, families of those lost-in-action, the handicapped, those discriminated against, the sexually harassed, victims of crime—just about everyone.
So, pray tell, if everyone is owed, who pays?
Spirit of Entitlement - Part 8 (The End)
“Haves” Owe the “Have-Nots”
The United Nation addresses the question, “If everyone is owed, who pays?” with two simple words—namely, sustainable development. Sustainability incorporates socialist principles into the emerging global governance structure. Simply put, those who “have” naturally owe those who “have not.”
In the global economy, wealth redistribution (socialism) trumps allegedly greedy gain from free enterprise. “Acting together for a just world” has a noble ring, true, but then today’s brand of egalitarianism is nepotism, plain and simple. It may well be that the vices of ostentation and conspicuous consumption are so prevalent in 21st century American culture that they no longer are viewed as such (World, 15 April 2006). Americans shoulder trillions in debt; in fact, ours is the largest debtor nation in the world. Moreover, ABC news has reported that the average family in America wields ten credit cards and accrues, on average, twenty-six thousand dollars in debt. Experts warn that consumer installment debt is propelling our nation toward disaster. But, we reason, if the Joneses have it, so should we. It’s owed us.
Disturbing as this is, I am equally alarmed by the growing mindset that “you owe me because you have it, and I don’t.” Although the US pays fully one-fourth of the UN budget, she is scolded nonetheless for being selfish and stingy. How dare she enjoy the fruit of her labors when others need and want what she has—not necessarily because it’s earned, but because somehow it’s “owed.”
In Deuteronomy 16, Moses instructed the Israelites to appoint for each of their tribes those judges and officials who “hate dishonest gain.” To the contrary, God pairs true equity with righteousness, viewing a just weight as “His delight” and a false balance as “abomination” (Prov. 2:9; 11:1).
Having studied Third-world countries, I am haunted by earmarks of poverty—tired, old faces; torn, filthy garments; bellies distended from starvation. Each draws the heart of compassion; each reminds us of blessings that too many Americans take for granted.
Responsible social programs and faith-based outreaches give legs to the Golden Rule; and I affirm wholeheartedly that the affluent—Christians most particularly—have a moral mandate to reach out to the weak and poor of the world. Nevertheless, wisdom dictates that if we value entitlement over justice, we end up forfeiting both.
Thank you for reading Parts 1 -8 with me. I have enjoyed sharing them with you.
I did, however, have to block one lady who forgot to lock her "I'm offended" button up in a drawer. I believe that we are all free to express our opinions, but to do it tactfully. I will not have my web-area littered with junk.
This has been one long bedraggledly blessed week. It has been filled with blessings and challenges; high peaks, low valleys: emotions running high and also rampantly askew. I do not always appreciate the Refiner's Fire, do you? I always likened God reforming me on the Potter's Wheel; pliable clay and slip to round off the edges and make things all smooth and pretty. It did not cross my mind that after that has air-dried for a time... IT GOES IN THE KILN at an exorbitant heat! And, sometimes goes through the Kiln over and over too!
Let me say this. I HATE cancer. Right now two very important men in my life are walking through it. My brother-in-love and my bestie's husband (who also happens to be my hubby's bestie). Both are great men. Both have wonderful families. Both are in a fight for their lives. God is faithful. He is in control. I keep reminding myself and everyone I meet of that.
**** Praise Break ****
First, my sweet brother-in-love. There is a huge family network, so we are all tripping over ourselves to help him. Hahaha. I even had words with one sister when I 'thought' she was ignoring my pleas to assist.. so not in my character.. or hers, and here it was just a misunderstanding and stupid cell phones not sending messages. We were all functioning in zoomy gear after the operation and news. After fervent praying, I was to assist from the sidelines. Do whatever needs to be done behind the scenes when asked. I love to cook, so I was able to set up the initial meal center. Now that chemo has begun, we will see how things go and where I am needed most. I do comedic relief (sometimes without even trying). Gordon's meds are extremely costly. Please pray that the funding comes in for the entire duration of the treatment.
With my friend in Seattle, the word to Roy and I was clear, "go." So I found out on Monday night that surgery was slated for early Wednesday. I was on a plane 10 hours later, and to bless me, it only cost the normal amount for travel. Thank you Jesus!
People who really know me know that I am a Type-A go-getter. I like to be movin-movin! Well, that is not what was needed. What was needed was for me to be an anchor for the moment. I was in all of the waiting rooms, crocheting and praying with most every stitch. I did see Todd too, but that is not what my mission was. It was one of a calming persona, prayer warrior and protector of Lisa and the kids.
I met all sorts of interesting people in the waiting rooms too. Most of whom also needed prayer. Some patients, some family of patients. It was a constant stream everyday. Lisa and I had to giggle about that one. One day when I was just tired my ownself, and what/who appears? A pastor from Oregon visiting someone and we were able to talk the Word. Talk about the goodness of God. The faithfulness of God. What a breath of fresh air from the Grandfatherly man. Then the next day I visited with a sweet almost-daughter who spoiled me rotten all day long.
Back at the hospital I cannot tell you how many times I wanted to jump up and smack a nurse upside the head when she was talking to my friend in an uppity fashion. Didn't she understand that this all is life altering for this family? Didn't she know??? Why the apathy? Why the rudeness? Boy did the Holy Spirit gently smack ME upside the head on that one. I asked to see her as He sees her. I saw a scared little girl hiding behind a facade. So what did I do? I prayed. Did she have an attitude adjustment? No. Not at first. But remember, we don't go by what we see or how we feel, or how others act. We go by the Word of God. The Word says that when a believer prays accordingly, the prayers are answered. Guess what... first, my heart changed, then her attitude followed suit. God really is faithful.
So for the past week, I crocheted a full blanket stitched in prayer, and the beginnings of another one; kept my mouth shut when I should and hands to myself; played referee with 3 dogs and one old cat, kids, nurses, their extended family members, and people galore, and mostly learned more about myself. Now how does that work? ha.
I have learned that I am not always called to be a mover and a shaker. I am also called to sit and pray things out... just because He asked me to.
My brothers and
sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith
produces endurance; and let
endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking
in nothing.
James 1:2-4 (New Revised Standard
Version)
When we are ill (I like to
term it ‘experiencing a healing’), it seems like some friends don’t understand
all the “stuff” that we deal with daily. But does that mean you let these
friends fade away whenever they don’t quite understand? No. Maybe you need to
let them know what exactly is going on with you.
If you live with an invisible illness, you may find the
emotions of coping with people’s doubts about your disease may be harder to
manage than the disease itself. In order to live our best life, we need to
educate ourselves about the disease as well and make well-researched decisions
about treatment. How can we expect friends and loved ones understand if we do
not?
My challenge happens to be Bilateral Vocal Cord Paralysis. Yes, quite the
mouthful. Both of my Recurrent Laryngeal Nerves were severed during an
operation in 2006. It left me unable to swallow food or drink without
aspirating it into my lungs. I was also unable to speak for one solid year. Can
you imagine an Italian not being able to talk???!!! God has brought me through so much, and to Him
I am ever thankful! He taught me how to control the muscles in my throat to be
able to swallow again (not that I do that correctly all of the time, sigh), and
after many sessions with my speech therapist, I was finally able to speak again
with a new voice! I am still waiting on
the singing voice to come back too. You see, God does not heal halfway.
Those with illness, however, have no ability to make others accept the
illness or even acknowledge it. They cannot read our minds. And they may not
know what to ask. When our loved ones are skeptical about the
existence or the seriousness of our disease, it can be annoying. It can cause
problems in our relationships–sometimes indefinitely if we do not let them know. When friends and family don’t understand what we deal with each day, Whatchagonnado?
Here are four steps:
1. Go with it.
Though the seriousness of your illness is significant under your roof,
it isn’t that important to others. And there’s no magical conversation you can
have with the person that will make him change his mind. Let them observe you.
With me it is the breathing issue. With my vocal folds paralyzed, it has
already narrowed down my ability to take in air. When I do any exertion at all,
the folds swell slightly, further narrowing down the ability to take in air. This
is called a Stridor; the wheezing Darth Vadar noise that you have heard me
make. I am ok… just have to take my time and maybe sit a few minutes and let
the swelling abate, then good as new! Exercising with me is a hoot and a half.
Just ask my girls! 2. Grow with it.
Use this as a time to reflect on your own perceptions of people. When you are
standing in line at the store and become irritated because “Surely no one here
knows how hard it is just for me to stand!” think twice. Nearly 1 in 2 people
in the USA have a chronic illness and about 96% of it is invisible, so the odds
are that someone in line likely is experiencing the same walk in Faith and
Healing that you are.
I have heard rude comments; “If she wasn’t overweight, she would be able to
walk up stairs and still breathe.” I
just bless those people. They don’t know what they are talking about. It is
easier to just forgive ignorance than to get offended, attack or dwell in it.
Also, what situations
are your friends experiencing that you don’t understand? A child with
a disability, the affair of a spouse, the loss of a job—all are life-altering
and the odds are that your friends could use your prayer, empathy and support
during this time. Perhaps you and your friends don’t understand what one of you
is going through at all. Use this to your advantage–understanding that you need
to give her a call and just listen.
3. Get over it.
Don’t obsess over the fact that no one knows what your daily life is like. It
is so easy to do! We have those fleeting secret thoughts that ‘if they could
live my life for just one day,’ but you need to get control over those thoughts
and cast them down like 2 Corinthians 10:5 instructs. Don’t allow your
resentment of this fact taint your relationships. And don’t take it personally,
despite how personal it feels.
It is not your job to change someone’s mind. You only have control over your
own behavior so make sure you can be proud of how you handle the conversations.
4. Get on with it.
Life is short and good friends and family are precious. Cut them all the slack
that they need. Call them if you haven’t heard from them. Hunt them down on
Facebook when all else fails!
To top off the ‘voice thang’ as my brother puts it, the past 2 years I have
dealt with kidney stones galore and have had 6 operations/procedures due to
them. (Read past posts if you are interested.) At my last appointment, I was
told not to come back for 1 whole year! Praise Jesus! Can I get a witness???
This year, I was also able to give myself pneumonia twice :o) Special gift I have due to the ‘voice thang’.
If I have a sinus infection, I have the ability to aspirate it into my lungs
while I sleep and am not controlling my neck muscles, causing bacterial
pneumonia. I am just now getting over my second episode. Now you must admit,
that takes talent!
Go with it. Grow with it. Get over it. Get on with it.
Is it possible to have relationships with people who don’t understand the
seriousness of your illness? Yes. Accept them for what they are able to give,
and know when to back off if the relationship becomes toxic. Have reasonable
expectations and boundaries. In time, this may end up being one of your closest
friendships and they may become one of your most outspoken advocates and
cheerleaders. It has been 2 long years sitting on the sidelines for me. But I feel a
change coming in the wind.
So we’re not giving up.
How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling
apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by
without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to
the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more
here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow.
But the things we can’t see now will last forever.
Yes, yes, it has been a while since I last posted. Did you miss me? haha!!
Life is amazing! I thought I would just put that out there for you. It doesn't always turn out how we envisioned it, but it is so fun with all the bumps and turns. Just hold on ---- The ride is amazing!!!
I had yet another kidney stone procedure, but I truly believe it to be the last. A few more stones to pass and I am good!! Long, Long long long long process, and those who really knew me a year or so ago, know that I do not do well with long drawn out episodes. This one was not only a physical healing time, but an internal healing of my soul as well. Let me explain.
Have you ever been hurt to your absolute core? The kind of hurt that stabs you and then turns the knife and then laughs at you? I have only really experienced that once before now, and that was when my dear daughter Hannah went to be with Jesus as a baby. This time was different. Someone (my immediate family knows who this is and that is all that needs to know) that I loved and trusted pulled the rug out from under me, causing me to fall hard. I was already trying to do my best to recover from a year of surgeries and trauma and building up my immune system again. This person did not care. It was awful. They knew where my weak spot was at the time, and went in for the kill. That is when I perceived that it was not the person alone, but it was a driving force that they were giving place to. It was straight out of the pit of hell.
I could only hit my knees and pray for this person and the whole situation. Then the Lord told me to forgive them, wholly and completely. I cringed. How could I forgive someone who was so spiteful to me and my family??!! The Word says I must, so I did. AND IT WAS NOT EASY. I had to do the 'I forgive them, I bless them' so many times for what seemed like forever before I even started to believe it myself!. Then a friend of mine in Russia wrote a new book and he sent it to me. 'You Can Get Over It - How to Confront, Forgive and Move On, ' by Rick Renner. I think this book was written just for me. Talk about freeing! Here is the excerpt from the back jacket:
"Someone may have wronged you in the past, or you may be in a painful situation right now. But you don't have to let anyone's actions against you pollute your present attitude or prevent God's good plan for your future... What matters now is that you stop bitterness and unforgivenes before it begins producing deadly fruit in our life. If others really did commit offenses against you, God will deal with them. But right now He wants to help YOU so this pain and trouble doesn't immobilize you any longer..."
Perfect word at the perfect time! Since I have let go of that burden (that I should not have been carrying anyway) my home has been so peaceful in every way. My body is finally healing, and I am even going to start looking for a new company to work for again. I have loved my time home and have found out some very interesting things about myself through the past 16 months. I am a home-body! I know, who would have ever believed that one! But I am. I love cooking, crocheting and putting things in order, but at the same time I am not OCD about it anymore.
As I grow physically stronger, I can feel this phase or season of my life giving way to a new one. I am not certain what that new season holds... but the fun is in the process of discovery! Yes, our lives are a process.. And in this new season me and the family are getting healthy!
We started a new way of eating lately, but are moderate in it as well. We limit our protein to 4-6 oz per major meal, and then all sorts of veggies. We found that we like mashed cauliflower, that most of us love the flavors of all of the weird beet colors, and roasted turnips are sweet! I have also found a cauliflower named Fiesta... it is so naturally colorful and it tastes great too. I just love Whole Foods! We are not eating as many processed carbs, as in breads or cereals. Also, we are trying not to eat any processed foods at all. Now we do take off 1 meal per week and eat whatever we want. But without the sugar cravings, we eat healthier at even that meal too! My goal is to be able to walk for 45 minutes straight. Right now after last procedure I am back to 5 mins at a time, but I keep doing that 5 mins during the day and I get there eventually. One day I will be able to do it all at one time again. I am also working out with the stretch bands. Love those things.
I am going to close this with two of my favorite songs combined... When thinking about it, it exudes the peacefulness, love of my Lord and gratefulness that I am experiencing as this season comes to a close for me. I love this rendition from this precious little man.
As The Deer - I Love You Lord Medley As the deer panteth for the water So my soul longeth after you You alone are my hearts desire And I long to worship you
You alone are my strength my shield To You alone may my spirit yield You alone are my hearts desire And I long to worship you
I love you Lord, And I lift my voice To worship you, Oh my soul rejoice Take Joy my King, In what you hear Let it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear
I lift my voice, Oh my soul rejoice You alone are my hearts desire And I long to worship you Only you Lord I long to worship you Oh Lord, I long to worship you
"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way." (James 1:2-4 MSG)
Hello! Seems when life plops some more lemons into your lap, you needed to decide what to do with them. I mean, you have already made LaDonna's famous Lemon Bars, Lemon pie, Passion tea lemonade, Lemon chicken... you get the picture. What am I going to do with more lemons???? I am going to choose Joy and show the love of my Savior even more because I now know it so annoys the enemy! I do not like 'processes' at all. I am a bottom line Type A Driver personality. Dish me a problem, I will dish back a quick fix. Well, sometimes life is a PROCESS, not a QUICK FIX. Oy. This past year has been such a learning 'process' for me. I do not like to be still. I like to be movin' movin... I was not able to do that. I have slowly been allowed to up my endurance. And I mean s-l-o-w-l-y. The girls are secretly happy that I am dancing around the house again, even it their encouragement comes out as, "Oh, mom, you are so lame(o) when you do that!" I choose Joy and dance all the more! Just a couple of weeks ago, we took the girls to Washington DC to look at grad schools. Caleb had to stay behind due to midterm tests and fun engineering things like that. I was able to walk the Mall where the monuments are! Took me awhile, but I went all the way from the Washington Monument to the Lincoln Memorial and back and then some more. I had to take breaks to rest a little, but we kept going on! My most difficult time is going uphill, so that tuckers me out fast, but then I just take a little time and catch my breath. I also know my limitations, and avoid them. This is hard for people who are not around me a lot to understand. They tend to try to feel bad for me, when I am having the time of my life!!! One sweet family friend does not 'walk' anywhere.. she marches, and at full speed ahead! By the end of the day she figured me out. I make my own fun and if I can't keep up with you...don't worry about me... I stop to smell the flowers more than most people these days... and guess what... I love the fragrances!!! I had been coming to terms with being a stay at home wife after the 5 surgeries this past year. I am well on the mend and was entering back into society, volunteering, having lunch with friends, meeting the girls for coffee dates. I had some very serious job interviews, but nothing was panning out. I was either over qualified and under-educated or under-educated for a level 1 position (who really needs a Masters to input data... seriously now I have over 30 years of hands on knowledge.) Then I was blindsided by needing an additional surgery... in just a few weeks! Seems a remnant of Buster is blocking the way for some other small stones to exit. GOOD NEWS is that there are no NEW stones!!!! See... Joyful!!!! And the left kidney is stone free!!! Another reason to be JOYFUL! God is so faithful!! So now on November 30th, I will once again attack the remnant of Buster... He and I have been talking. He knows his days are limited. I know the process is almost over, then it will be rest and rejuvenation time... then time to RE-FIRE it up again!! Woooo hooo!!! What process is God leading you through today? No giving up allowed. If you need some help, just give me call or text or email ~ I am here for you. Let's skip on over this while singing... click on to enjoy :o)
.jpg)
