5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 --- Happy 2013

Yes, yes, it has been a while since I last posted. Did you miss me? haha!!

Life is amazing! I thought I would just put that out there for you. It doesn't always turn out how we envisioned it, but it is so fun with all the bumps and turns. Just hold on ---- The ride is amazing!!!

I had yet another kidney stone procedure, but I truly believe it to be the last. A few more stones to pass and I am good!! Long, Long long long long process, and those who really knew me a year or so ago, know that I do not do well with long drawn out episodes. This one was not only a physical healing time, but an internal healing of my soul as well. Let me explain.

Have you ever been hurt to your absolute core? The kind of hurt that stabs you and then turns the knife and then laughs at you? I have only really experienced that once before now, and that was when my dear daughter Hannah went to be with Jesus as a baby. This time was different. Someone (my immediate family knows who this is and that is all that needs to know) that I loved and trusted pulled the rug out from under me, causing me to fall hard. I was already trying to do my best to recover from a year of surgeries and trauma and building up my immune system again. This person did not care. It was awful. They knew where my weak spot was at the time, and went in for the kill. That is when I perceived that it was not the person alone, but it was a driving force that they were giving place to. It was straight out of the pit of hell.

I could only hit my knees and pray for this person and the whole situation. Then the Lord told me to forgive them, wholly and completely. I cringed. How could I forgive someone who was so spiteful to me and my family??!!  The Word says I must, so I did. AND IT WAS NOT EASY. I had to do the 'I forgive them, I bless them' so many times for what seemed like forever before I even started to believe it myself!. Then a friend of mine in Russia wrote a new book and he sent it to me. 'You Can Get Over It - How to Confront, Forgive and Move On, ' by Rick Renner. I think this book was written just for me. Talk about freeing!  Here is the excerpt from the back jacket:


"Someone may have wronged you in the past, or you may be in a painful situation right now. But you don't have to let anyone's actions against you pollute your present attitude or prevent God's good plan for your future...  What matters now is that you stop bitterness and unforgivenes before it begins producing deadly fruit in our life. If others really did commit offenses against you, God will deal with them. But right now He wants to help YOU so this pain and trouble doesn't immobilize you any longer..."

Perfect word at the perfect time! Since I have let go of that burden (that I should not have been carrying anyway) my home has been so peaceful in every way. My body is finally healing, and I am even going to start looking for a new company to work for again. I have loved my time home and have found out some very interesting things about myself through the past 16 months. I am a home-body! I know, who would have ever believed that one! But I am. I love cooking, crocheting and putting things in order, but at the same time I am not OCD about it anymore.

As I grow physically stronger, I can feel this phase or season of my life giving way to a new one. I am not certain what that new season holds... but the fun is in the process of discovery!  Yes, our lives are a process..  And in this new season me and the family are getting healthy!

We started a new way of eating lately, but are moderate in it as well. We limit our protein to 4-6 oz per major meal, and then all sorts of veggies. We found that we like mashed cauliflower, that most of us love the flavors of all of the weird beet colors, and roasted turnips are sweet! I have also found a cauliflower named Fiesta... it is so naturally colorful and it tastes great too. I just love Whole Foods!  We are not eating as many processed carbs, as in breads or cereals. Also, we are trying not to eat any processed foods at all.  Now we do take off 1 meal per week and eat whatever we want. But without the sugar cravings, we eat healthier at even that meal too!  My goal is to be able to walk for 45 minutes straight. Right now after last procedure I am back to 5 mins at a time, but I keep doing that 5 mins during the day and I get there eventually. One day I will be able to do it all at one time again. I am also working out with the stretch bands. Love those things.

I am going to close this with two of my favorite songs combined... When thinking about it, it exudes the peacefulness, love of my Lord and gratefulness that I am experiencing as this season comes to a close for me.  I love this rendition from this precious little man.

As The Deer - I Love You Lord Medley
As the deer panteth for the water
So my soul longeth after you
You alone are my hearts desire
And I long to worship you

You alone are my strength my shield
To You alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my hearts desire
And I long to worship you

I love you Lord, And I lift my voice
To worship you, Oh my soul rejoice
Take Joy my King, In what you hear
Let it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear

I lift my voice, Oh my soul rejoice
You alone are my hearts desire
And I long to worship you
Only you Lord
I long to worship you
Oh Lord, I long to worship you


Signed: A Muse of the Remnant.
Christine